I need harmony. I’m overwhelmed with work and thoughts about existence, you know it’s a terrible thing to think about the human existence all the time. The time passes slowly. Today I went throught a lot of stress. It seems that I did a mistake when modifying the server firewall in Friday when we moved pozvanete and connections about the aids were not possible thanksfully Vladi said it will be fixed. Bobb reported that efficiencylaboratory system does not send emails when I take a look I saw the qmail queue was broken ( something I see for a first time ). qmail-qstat reported empty queue while qmail-qread reported empty. I found this about fixing messed queues http://pyropus.ca/software/queue-repair/. After running it over the queue and restarting the mail server few times it seemed to work at the end. I experience terrible problem when trying to run jailkit on one Debian Sarge machine, I’m trying to figure out what is the reason few days ago with no luck a terrible thing even stracing the jk_socket does not provide with anything that could lead to a solution when I’m logging into the machine with the jailed user the auth.log indicates that login is successful and sftp-server is spawned while the sftp client closes the connection. I’ll be looking at this later again I really ran out of ideas aboud a possible solution.I’m very tired I need rest. Too often I despair sometimes I want to cry, there is so much unrightfulness in the world. On Saturday night me and Nomen decided to do a pretty Ñ€eckless thing we catched the train for Botevo and spend the night in a forest around a fire. This time we was equiped at least we had a torch. We baked bread and potatoes on the fire and made a sort of sandwiches with a salt and cucumbers. At least this time we went to the other forest and there were trees all around so it wasn’t necessary to search for them in the darkness. All the forecast said it would rain. But Praise the Lord it didn’t. (We even prayed a little to God not to rain cause we had not the proper equipment ). Thanksfully again God heard our prayers. The only bad side of our great adventure was that after 1:00 o’clock in the morning the temperature started falling and it was extremely cold. I was able to sleep just for 40 minutes or so. In the morning after 6:00 the birds started to awaken and sing, so beautiful voices all around, even flickers :]. In went to the Botevo’s railway station and in 8:40 take the train back to Dobrich. I went home and took a shower then went to bed. I was woken by a telephone call and it was the missionary which call me two days ago wanted to see me and speak about the faith, he call me to remind me of our meeting ( from the way he speaks I undestood he is a Mormon ). So I decided to rewrite the Orthodox Creed of Faith and show him and explain them what I believe. When we met they were very kind to me and after some time they supposed to go to their church to explain us about their faith. I went their and they started talking strange things they wanted to pray together ( I rejected ofcourse ). How can we pray a prayer I have no idea about.After a lot of discussion about the Gospel and the truth Church they got angry and chased me out of their sect/”church” ;]They tried to lie they tried to claim they’re orthodox Christians in the first cause I told them I’m orthodox. One of the Moroms tried to convince me he knows more about orthodox Christianity more than me. Other of the two cited me a some Writting in the Book of Jeremiah trying to convince me I have existed before my birth, I told him this is occult (this was my opinion ofcourse God knows best).END—–
Posts Tagged ‘despair’
Harmony
Monday, April 2nd, 2007Tags: Bobb, bread, ca software, cause, client, connection, cucumbers, despair, efficiencylaboratory, empty queue, existence, fire this time, harmony, human existence, jailkit, login, mail server, possible solution, potatoes, pozvanete, pray, queue, queues, quot, reason, sandwiches, saturday night, server firewall, sftp, sftp client, sftp server, Socket, software queue, something, terrible thing, time, torch, train, work
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Night in a tent in Kavarna and the Topola Beach
Monday, July 7th, 2008Saturday evening I and a group of friends went to Kavarna. I met some oldschool friends there like Zornica (Blacksun), and one of the twins(Ivailo). Ivailo is studying philophy and most likely believes that phisophy serves a good purpose.In general I spend something like 3 hours in a non sense talk on the topic of my faith in Christ. He tried to mock my faith and tried to make me incompetent not well educated etc. etc., anyways I don’t much care of this because my Savior Lives and what God has done and is continuing to do for me is very real.So in general The night was a sort of waste of time. After having a distant walk from Kavarna beach where our tent was established to the Kavarna Stadium where all the rock’n roll buzz was happening.There was a tons of metal heads around the town of Kavarna, most of themdrunkards or on a way to get dead drunk lost in the lie that the metal philosophy presents, something in which I was a prisoner for a very long time. The happening which gathered all of them there is the Rock concert of Manowar. This is thesecond time Manowar are playing in Kavarna and I think the 3rd time they play in Bulgaria. I didn’t bought a ticket because of the highprice and my unwilling to listen to Manowar for a second year. The previous year I was on there concert and I was happy with it except I nomore I’m a real fan of Manowar since there band phisophy and preaching is hypocritic. I was happy to see that ex-girlfriend from my past Zornica,because it’s pretty probably that I won’t see her for a long time since there is a probability to go to study in the Netherlands in August, I should say that she is from the most beautiful girls I’ve seen in my life and for a moment I did fall in a sort of despair I was not able to keep her as a girlfriend long time ago. Happily thanks to God all this satanic temptation went away. When I came back to the Kavarna beach the friends there had already made a fire and was grilling some meat. I ate more than I usually had appetite for since there was a lot of food. Later I had a small walk around the Kavarna quay I prayed a bit during my walk there and afterwards came back to the fire camp but was too tired and it was pretty early in the morning (3:34) so I went to the tent where Nomen (Mitko) was already sleeping for 2 hours and went to sleep. I woke up a lot of times during the night and I remember the last time I woke up somewhere around 7:30. The day before I was thinking that I would like to go to a Church service just I do every Sunday and after I tried to fall in a sleep again unsuccesful and realizing I can’t because I felt cold and pain in my lower back so I stand up and decided to go to the Church in Kavarna for a Liturgy, A month ago I met father Vasilij there by the way is one of the most gentle priests I have seen in my life. The church service was just perfect. I think the people in that Church was a way more sincere comparing to the Chuch I usually attend here in Dobrich. What impressed me was that I was able to understand almost 100% percent of what the priest said something I usually can’t in the othor orthodox Churches where I’ve been on a Liturgy. The other thing that was I think great was that the service continued until 10:40 which is 30 minutes more comparing to the normal Church services I have attended before. Another thing that impressed me was the woman on the clergy they sang songs which glorified our Lord 🙂 Another thing that make sense to meis that the priest personally was giving the blessed communion (in the st. George I usually attend the communion is left alone and every could take of it), the priest also required to know my name :). Another thing was the incense odour it was smelling different from the one I’ve smelled before. The preach of the father was also very nice, the only word that describes it is the word “simple”. After the liturgy, Nomen calledand we said they’re already in Kavarna and are going to have a coffee. We went for a coffee and after that we decided to go to Topola Beach. Topola beach is a pleasent beach located near a village close to Kavarna. I didn’t know that there were plans to have a beach I thought we’re going only for one night. Happily Mitko (Metallicata) had his old bathing trunks with him and they fitted me. The beach experience was fine in general. At a point I and mitko decided to go to the small wood where one of the cars was perked and we spend some time there listening to music (Disco from the ’90s 🙂 and relaxing, we had to do this etherwise we would have bad sun burns which eventually were going to lead us to a painful burn condition at least for at least few days. On our way back to Dobrich both the drivers drived like a suiciders not following the road signs, getting ahead of other cars on a dangerous places etc. etc. I should thank God that he bring us home alive :)END—–
Tags: beach, beautiful girls, blacksun, buzz, care, coffee, concert, dead drunk, despair, ex girlfriend, good purpose, Kavarna, manowar, Metal, metal philosophy, Mitko, oldschool friends, philophy, philosophy, previous year, priest, probability, quot, rock, roll, saturday evening, savior, something, study in the netherlands, temptation, tent, ticket, time, topic, topola, waste, waste of time, year
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