Posts Tagged ‘Metal’

Sick again – Hoping God to solve it all – and no desire to study

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

Yesterday I was out for a coffee with Tony an old frined from the Old metal days, after that I went outwith Lily I drinked 200 gr of Vodka and a Beer. I was pretty desparate actually and I got very drunk I got home 04:10 and got to bed at 4:30. What can I say life is hard. Today Mitko called at dinner time and we drinked a coffee on the fountain. The night we went out in the Central park and drinked a beer per man. I’m starting to think about the meaningless of my life again, since my life seems without a real purpose and seems not going nowhere ( we humans are so weak ). Yesterday I have almost taken the decision to suicide. It almost a miracle after I send lily to her home and was going back home with the idea of my mind to suicide. Lily called and said she can’t unlock the door and everyone inside is sleeping and she didn’t want to disturb them. So we spend more than an hour outside. Today I feel terrible physically again. I really can’t take it anymore I need Jesus to bless me with a healing (Save me Holy Lord, Lord Jesus son of the Blessed God have mercy over me the sinner heal me Lord and Deliver me from all sickness and affliction and pain Heal my Soul, Body and Spirit, make me whole to be able to serve you again :[ Amen) My computer went down twice today I have a problem with the cooling. The cooler should be cleaned but I guess this will happen after our Room’s repair is completed. By the way Both Pc-Freak and Jericho are on the terrace. Because repair works are being done into the room. Day after day I ask my self the question when I will be healed again. I do smoke a lot of cigarettes for which I’m ashamed of myself (But it’s an act of desperation). By the way I don’t have any desire to study anymore I’d like to do things with FreeBSD and learn stuff. If God is merciful to me and heals me probably I’ll continue to live otherwise I guess I’ll end badly. Very often come to the point Nobody out there cares, them I feel the presence of God’s spirit I remember the Bible’s instruction towards doubtful mind and try return back to the Faith of the Eternal, It’s like a sort of schizofrenia (I believe, I don’t believe). I’m sure both cannot be true. Very often I think I deserve more but since God’s rightous probably that’s what I deserve. I tried do good for so many people and to care for as much people I’m very discouraged because as a reward I see it like receiving this infirmity and sickness … Something have to change or I’ll be gone …END—–

A list of Christian Metal website resources on the Net for Christian Metal lovers

Thursday, July 26th, 2012

I’ve been an old times Metal head. The moment I accepted Jesus Christ as a Lord and Saviour and been visited by the Lord’s Holy Ghost grace, my life changed severely. I found out most of the metal bands, I used to be regularly listening to is against Christ and anti-christian in essence, I still however hold my love for Metal as my teenage years were dominated by Metal Music. Happily I found there is plenty of nice Metal music a Metal head could enjoy that are written for glorification of Christ and hence did not have the negative spiritual anti-christian charge that is so typical for a lot of the bads in the metal music world. Recently I’m not listening to as much music as few years from now but still every now and then I like playing some of my old Christian metal loved bands. I was maintaining a small list of Christian metal nice bands I found and playlisted on youtube. If you’re a metal geek you might enjoy my old christian metal playlist here 🙂.

For Christians, who are looking for online Christian Metal community I also suggest you check out Firestream – The believer’s Heavy Music Refugee . There are plenty of other interesting places on the net dedicated for Christian metal fans;;;

I will end up this post with 2 videos of one very favourite Ukrainian Christian Metal band – Angel 7;

Angel 7 – Jesus the Saviour

Angel 7 – The Last Day

There are probably plenty of other nice Christian Metal sites and resources on the net; surely I’m missing a lot here? if you know some other good Christian Rock / Metal resources please drop a comment.

My pleasent time back home in Bulgaria

Sunday, January 4th, 2009

I experienced mostly a great time in Bulgaria. Refreshing days went to Kavarna with Nomen to confess my sins in front of a priest. I purposely has selected Kavarna’s Church and father “Vasilii” because I liked him as a priest. I’ve been on a liturgy once during the summer in the church where he takes care for. After the Liturgy I drived Mitko’s Audi A3 towards Dobrich. I’m a new driver so I need to practice. I drived during this days few more times. We went several times for a coffees and pubs with Nomen and Alex. We also went out with Nicki Mitko’s brother a couple of times and we had a great time together coffee-ing. I also went to a dentist. It seems that I had caries and they had to fix my teeth. The caries was in the last stage that it could be so the dentist had to kill and remove my nerve and he did so, the nerve was killed (with arsenic fluid) and removed and the tooth was filled in. I also went out for a drink 3 times with Lily. I went to liturgy 2 times. I met a nice priest (Father Veliko). In Varna when I came back from the Netherlands I met Order and had a great time with him. A lot of other things that I can hardly remember. The Christmas this year. My whole family was there except my grandma who had to be in the hospital (however the Christmas was just perfect!) Thanks to God! I and my family gathered together and had a nice talk and dinner even we said the Lord’s prayer before we started eating it was so nice … The New Year eve was a nice one as well. Even my grandma was there. If we don’t count few minor downfalls like a small quarrel with my sis all went well. I was home with my family until 1.30 in the morning and afterwards went to Denica’s who is a close friend of Nomen, Pavlin was there as well he is an old friend from the metal days of my past. I drinked a couple of glasses of beer and wine. In the morning I had a little hang-over as as a consequence from the drinking. The 13 days I was in Bulgaria has passed so quickly. I shared with my grandma and mother that I feel bad physically, emotionally and mentally. During my stay I also have been aguest in my aunt a couple of times, so nice time there as well.The food in Bulgaria is so great I was very, very happy to eat the delicios food there. The food here in the Netherlands is completely terrible compared to the one at home! In short that was how my days passed there. And I’m so happy about them! I’m looking forward to go home as fast as possible I realize my place is not abroad. When I firstly came here I thoiught that maybe my place is somewhere in some of the developed countries like here in The Netherlands. Now I think differently. It’s quite interesting that after I went out of Bulgaria I became much more a patriot. When I was living there I always has praised the developed countries way of living and thinking. Now it’s a completely different story I sometimes even like the bad things in Bulgaria. I wonder if other people who went out of Bulgaria to work or study has experienced the same.Anyways thanks to the Lord I had a safe journey from Bulgaria to the Netherlands. And here I’m here in the dorm again. I’m gonna tell in short my experiences from the trip back from Bulgaria to the Netherlands in a different post in a minute.END—–

Manowar in Kavarna

Monday, July 2nd, 2007

Everything actually started in Friday. Friday I was on a Webtech in Varna in the Technical University.This is the second Webtech conference made in Varna. I was on the lectures until dinner. Firstwe went with Nomen, Niki and Dancho to the TU University, and we lost some time searching for theroom after that we found the room where the lectures were going to be. We entered in the endingpart of the first introductionary lecture about webtech. After this there was a lecture forperl Catalyst, which was quite interesting btw after that a lecture for expect (hackman has leaded the lecture).After that we went to drink a coffee and I found out I have lost my wallet. I get mad because I thoughtwell God I try to be good to others to give to the poor etc. etc. and in return I loose 42 lv. I spendthe other part of the day staying alone on a bench outside the university and thinking about the humanexistence, after that I went home very disappointed and angry. Stelio a friend who is has led me to the Orthodox Christianianity. Called and I invited him to be my guest, we had a great time togetherdiscussing the human existence. The next day I wake up early and I was feeling awful, meaninglesslost. Nomen called and said there are on the 2nd day on the lectures of webtech conference againand that my wallet has been found with 42 lv. and my ID card in it. I PRAISED THE LORD! It wasquite a joyful for me. On the next day I decided I would go to the Manowar concert in Kavarnaand I bought the ticket from Amridikon. The concert was interesting as a whole but I realizedI’m not into metal music anymore. After that Nomen came and take me from Kavarna with a car andwe went to Tulenovo’s rocks awaiting the July Morning with some other friends (Sami, Toto, Iasho, Gegi etc.).The rocks were very beautiful and the sea’s view is great. We baked some meet and ate. In the morning, there was a Metal July. (Toto, Sami and Iasho banged there heads on Sepultura’s Roots Bloody Rootsand Territory. After that we made a sort of excursion in the Village of Tulenovo and around it around the rocks.We then moved to Balchik to leave one of the girls with us on the station to take a bus for her working place.And in the end we come back to Dobrich in 10. I was tired as hell. And sleep until 3. I then attended the Orthodox Church st. Georgi to pray to God. Later I bought some vegetables and fruits fromthe open market for my Grandma. And went to her home to give her the products. After that I saw lily on a coffee.And in the late afternood we had a walk with Nomen into the central park. Nomen suggested that it would be cool to drink beer in hishouse and to watch the film (Die Young 3) and that’s exactly what we did. This few days was quite a colorful It’s God behind thisstarting to answer my prayers slowly but surely. Thanks God for giving me all thiswonderful moments :]END—–

The day Today

Friday, March 28th, 2008

I stand up in the morning at somewhere around 09:30. I made my physical excersises everyday. What I have to say that I’m trying to fast. You know it’s the orthodox fasting period. Orthodox Eastern has to be on 27 may if I’m not mistaken. In the morning we had Marketing II classes with a teacher called Stanislav. Nobody has a homework and only three of us entered the classes so the teacher was furious. After that we had lectures with Ruelof on the topic of Marketing Research. I had not much job from work. Our project manager said that they are going to give me a phone so they can reach me cheaper and easier. We have to had some English classes just after the Marketing Planning lectures but the teacher Valio said we won’t have it because he has some job to do. After the school I worked on the servers. Servers and stuff works just fine thanks to God. Unfortunately my health issues continue on and on. I’m starting to loose temper I try to pray for a little every night before I go to bed and every evening. I still hope God would hear me and heal me. Ahm what else in the evening I went to the 2nd hand furniture shop of my cousin Zlatina and her husband Ivailo I spend a little less than an hour there. After that I went to Yasho a colleague 1st year (A metal head and brother of one of my class mates) and we watched Dr. Strangelove together Or How I learned to stop worrying and drop the bomb. I really enjoy this Kubrick film :). That’s most of the day. I figure out that one of the qmail chkuser’s patch wasn’t working properly on one of the servers and I did some tweaks to make it work. Also I’m reading a little book on MySQL although I almost doesn’t have time to read it. Well that’s it Let’s call it a day.END—–

Night in a tent in Kavarna and the Topola Beach

Monday, July 7th, 2008

Saturday evening I and a group of friends went to Kavarna. I met some oldschool friends there like Zornica (Blacksun), and one of the twins(Ivailo). Ivailo is studying philophy and most likely believes that phisophy serves a good purpose.In general I spend something like 3 hours in a non sense talk on the topic of my faith in Christ. He tried to mock my faith and tried to make me incompetent not well educated etc. etc., anyways I don’t much care of this because my Savior Lives and what God has done and is continuing to do for me is very real.So in general The night was a sort of waste of time. After having a distant walk from Kavarna beach where our tent was established to the Kavarna Stadium where all the rock’n roll buzz was happening.There was a tons of metal heads around the town of Kavarna, most of themdrunkards or on a way to get dead drunk lost in the lie that the metal philosophy presents, something in which I was a prisoner for a very long time. The happening which gathered all of them there is the Rock concert of Manowar. This is thesecond time Manowar are playing in Kavarna and I think the 3rd time they play in Bulgaria. I didn’t bought a ticket because of the highprice and my unwilling to listen to Manowar for a second year. The previous year I was on there concert and I was happy with it except I nomore I’m a real fan of Manowar since there band phisophy and preaching is hypocritic. I was happy to see that ex-girlfriend from my past Zornica,because it’s pretty probably that I won’t see her for a long time since there is a probability to go to study in the Netherlands in August, I should say that she is from the most beautiful girls I’ve seen in my life and for a moment I did fall in a sort of despair I was not able to keep her as a girlfriend long time ago. Happily thanks to God all this satanic temptation went away. When I came back to the Kavarna beach the friends there had already made a fire and was grilling some meat. I ate more than I usually had appetite for since there was a lot of food. Later I had a small walk around the Kavarna quay I prayed a bit during my walk there and afterwards came back to the fire camp but was too tired and it was pretty early in the morning (3:34) so I went to the tent where Nomen (Mitko) was already sleeping for 2 hours and went to sleep. I woke up a lot of times during the night and I remember the last time I woke up somewhere around 7:30. The day before I was thinking that I would like to go to a Church service just I do every Sunday and after I tried to fall in a sleep again unsuccesful and realizing I can’t because I felt cold and pain in my lower back so I stand up and decided to go to the Church in Kavarna for a Liturgy, A month ago I met father Vasilij there by the way is one of the most gentle priests I have seen in my life. The church service was just perfect. I think the people in that Church was a way more sincere comparing to the Chuch I usually attend here in Dobrich. What impressed me was that I was able to understand almost 100% percent of what the priest said something I usually can’t in the othor orthodox Churches where I’ve been on a Liturgy. The other thing that was I think great was that the service continued until 10:40 which is 30 minutes more comparing to the normal Church services I have attended before. Another thing that impressed me was the woman on the clergy they sang songs which glorified our Lord 🙂 Another thing that make sense to meis that the priest personally was giving the blessed communion (in the st. George I usually attend the communion is left alone and every could take of it), the priest also required to know my name :). Another thing was the incense odour it was smelling different from the one I’ve smelled before. The preach of the father was also very nice, the only word that describes it is the word “simple”. After the liturgy, Nomen calledand we said they’re already in Kavarna and are going to have a coffee. We went for a coffee and after that we decided to go to Topola Beach. Topola beach is a pleasent beach located near a village close to Kavarna. I didn’t know that there were plans to have a beach I thought we’re going only for one night. Happily Mitko (Metallicata) had his old bathing trunks with him and they fitted me. The beach experience was fine in general. At a point I and mitko decided to go to the small wood where one of the cars was perked and we spend some time there listening to music (Disco from the ’90s 🙂 and relaxing, we had to do this etherwise we would have bad sun burns which eventually were going to lead us to a painful burn condition at least for at least few days. On our way back to Dobrich both the drivers drived like a suiciders not following the road signs, getting ahead of other cars on a dangerous places etc. etc. I should thank God that he bring us home alive :)END—–

Death Metal singing animals :)

Monday, February 20th, 2012

Alex, just passed me by few funny videos, with "animals singing death metal"

Death Metal Singing Rooster

This Rooster, should definitely contact Six Feet Under (SFU) 's vocalist – Chris Barnes for a solo album 😉

I guess this Camel should start innovative metal music fork to Grind Core or Noise Core metal genre sub-division 🙂

I'm sure you never imagined the donkey could be an awesome Metal singer, Well believe it or not it is a fact the donkey has a talent 🙂

This dog is quite experienced in Death Metal vocalist stage behaviour 😉

There is plenty of other Metal singing animals in Youtube, for more laugh check the related videos. Enjoy ! 🙂

Influence of Rock, Hard Rock, Metal, Punk and Alternative on the human mood (my personal experience in it)

Saturday, June 26th, 2010

I myself used to be a metal head for more about 10 years. During the years the amount of music swallowed varied, howeverthere was a certain tendency that I listen more and more metal. I even had a period in my life where I cannot live without metal.
The metal and alternative music slowly became my second nature. I started listening to Heavy metal and Rock music when I was 14 years old, I started with the bands: Metallica, Iron Maiden, Manowar, Motorhead, AC/DC, DIO then when some time passed I progressed further with Sepultura, Pantera, Kreator, Death etc.
Few years later my primary metal style of choice was Death metal with bands like: Morbid Angel, Cannibal Corpse, Benediction, Six Feet Under, Bolt Thrower etc. My death metal period in my life lasted for like a year and a half, then I switched to even heavier types of Metal music like Black Metal, Doom Metal etc.. I was into the darkest metal of metals for about 3 or 4 years bands like Dimmu Borgir, Venom, Bathory, Immortal, Satyricon, Darkthrone, Dark Funeral were my idols for this phase of my life.

My last phase of a “development” as a metal head was when I switched my favour metal style of choice to Gothic and Industrial metal & rock music in that times of gothic I was completely after bands like Lacrimosa, London After Midnight, Sopor Aeternus & The Ensembe of Shadows, The Cure, Crematory almost paralelly I slipped into listening to Nine Inch Nails, Front Line Assymbly, Front 242, Ministry etc.
With the years I noticed that I started getting more and more aggressive and more and more negatively pitched towards life in general (which I nowdays relate more or less with my metal background).
Probably as an effect of listening to metal, I started being more sarcastic, I started spending more time thinking of death, even at periods some suicidal thoughts started emerging.
This kind of music make me more or less apathic towards life and at the same time triggered hyper sensuality in me, which if probably analyzed by a psychologist would be ranked as a mental disored.
It was the major part of my life because all my life started turning around the music I started looking for other metal heads I started going to places where other people who are into metal gather (metal pubs, metal bars, metal clubs).
At times almost all my contacts with people were also with individuals from metal backgrounds, I started despising people with other music preferences (judging people), I also started thinking of people which are not into metal most of the time as inferior, I considered non-metal heads like a un-elightened or something.
You can imagine how insane this kind of perception of life is and how much the metal music was involved with this wrong understanding of human genesis.

With the time I realized that listening to metal music consitutes a major “disease” like condition and has a negative influence over my general life, so I decided to limit my relations with people who are into the deep metal underground and started changing my life for good when I substituted my extraordinary passion for metal for a passion for Orthodox Christian Church music and Classical Music – mostly from the Baroque Classics era.
Nowadays I do listen mostly to classical composers like J.S. Bach, Buxtehude, Antonio Vivaldi, Claudio Monteverdi and many many more

My wrong perception for the world and my behaviour alterations, my empathy towards life and people which I think were directly influenced by listening to metal music is almost gone, though the old wrong (mind and spirit) pattern remains are silently sleeping somewhere in me and looking for a ways to feed it up and to rise again.
Another negative consequence of listening to metal music was the increase in my criticism. Here I should note that my by nature I’m a critical person, however listening to metal make me even more critical and judgemental and rebellious.
As metal music in most of it’s conceptual imaginary drawings speaks about rebelion, I think it’s worthy to mention it here as one of metal’s wicked stimulus over the general metal fan.
I have to admit that it was metal music that partly kindled my interest towards religion and laters by God’s mercy led me to find the truth in the Orthodox Christian Church
Metal teaches people to leave the old ways and live a wild life without any constraints it teaches the man to turn it’s back to the old ways and look for a new order of things.
I think metal teaches man to rebel against any set government authorities and life order.
This kind of music preaches complete freedom from any normal habits, it pushes the fan to live on the edge, get the best of life, rarely talking about the consequences on the person who grasps this abnormal ways (ideas).

However like everything listening doesn’t have a 100% percents negative impact, but also has some benefits even though the benefits on the personality are quite less notable than the negative influence.
One of the major benefits of metal on man is it’s charge to sometimes show off people the real sight of things in life, it cuts the veil every now and then and does try to look for a truth, so metal could make you a truth seeker.
Another positive benefit is that many metal bands deal with a deep manners and problems the humanity faces, so listening to metal could stimulate your psyche to be think more deeply.
Last but not least is that metal deals with occult, myths and religion with that in mind, metal could trigger the listener interest into religion or occult.
It is also a music which exposes the human need for spirituality and is a good mirror of todays people corrupted spirituality.
Talking about faith, metal is about faith just like any other religion like christianity, islam or buddhism. So most people who are into metal does believe in it like into an idol that could advance them in a way.
I personally previously believed that listening to metal music, improves my thinking process and makes me smarter in a way (of course this is a delusion).
However according to modern research in certain cases it is possible that certain kind of metal has a positive impact on mind development.
Of course things aren’t so black and white, because talking about the metal genre and it’s influence I should take in mind, the music versatility.
There is a Christian Rock and Christian Metal as well as the so called White Metal which claim they do good since they preach Christianity and the “good news” of the Saviour Jesus Christ who has saved humanity from death and hell
Since the music also incorporates the good old metal riffs, my personal experience shows me that the influence of the so-called Christian Rock and Metal Music is not that beneficial as they claim, but it can easily even spread false ideas related to Christianity and implant false or heretic beliefs in Humans.

It’s an interesting fact that some of my personal experiences with metal and rock and it’s influence on my life and person does co-incide with some Research Results on the topic of metal listening.
For instance there is a quite a research on the topic of mood swings and listening to metal music, the mood swing problem should be a well known problem to many people who have been into gothic metal or alternative like Pearl Jam, Alice in Chans etc.
If you want to see some researches data results from experiments related to the effect of Metal on Human Psyche I kindly urge you to further see the below articles containing research results:
Psychology of Heavy Metal Music: Effects on Mood, Aggression, Suicide, Drug Use and Intelligence
The Effects of Heavy Metal Music on Attitude

Big Bulgarian Rock, Metal, Blues Music Collection

Friday, March 28th, 2008

A friend of mine gave me 2 link to very extended collection of Bulgarian Rock/Metal Bands this are bands like Hipodil, Kontrol, Holera, 5-ta Invalidna, Necromancer, Nova Generacia, R Malyk, R Golqm, Ahat and much much more known and uknown Bulgarian bands! :)Check the links below Big Bulgarian Rock, Metal, Blues Music Collection 1 And More Bulgarian Metal,Rock Music Enjoy!END—–

2 interesting metal movies that everymetal should watch (Movies about Metal Over the World)

Friday, January 15th, 2010

Yesterday, friends of mine has recommended me two movies on the topic of metal
As a global movement. The film is a sort of a headbanger (metalhead) personal research on metal music development and current status all over the world.
The movie was conducted by a San Dunn (a hardcore metal fan) who travels aroundin different locations all around the world and does reflect on metal scene on
the 6 continents. It was of a real interest to me to check out the moviesout of curiosity considering my metal passion that lived with me over the years.
The first movie is called Metal – A Headbanger’s Journey (2005)
The movie includes many interview with famous metal musicians Wacken metal festival scenes of one of the most famous metal bands over the world.
The second movie is called Global Metal (2008) and is a sort of continuation of the first one.
Some of the metal musicians interviewed in the Movie are:

Bruce Dickinson
Tom Araya – (Slayer)
Alice Cooper – (Alice Copper)
Lemmy Kilmister – (Motorhead)
Kerry King – (Slayer)
Rob Zombie – (Rob Zombie)
Lars Ulrich – (Metallica)
Max Cavalera – (Sepultura, Soufly)
Each of the forementioned musicians speaks about his attitude and vision on Metal
as a culture and it’s development over the years as well as about his/her personal
Experience with metal fans during their huge metal tours aroud the world.
The movie includes also references to many infamous on a global scale metal bands
Which are large popular in their home countries and do a serious metal music.
Each of this band’s philosophy and lyrical expression is largely centered around their culture.
This creates something new and unseen before in the metal scene and not to mention
does integrate the world in a better way.It’s really shocking to see the metal scene in India, Indonesia, Japan, China etc.
It’s almost incredible that metal music exists their and enjoys a good popularity
where culture is so different from the culture we have in Eastern Europe!
Well enough talk, take your time get to the nearest torrent or a metal shop and
look for that two titles. I guarantee you’ll experience a couple of hours
of fun and nice music. Enjoy!