A terrible times
The SHR project is going nowhere, the
teachers are playing with the group. Right now I'm drinking Amstel,
yesterday I tried The Dutch beer Grolsh it wasn't bad by the way.
I'm completely convinced that my family has no love for me. I've
recently suffered with a constipation again (a bit more than 3 days
without a complete poop). I'm trying to eat as much food I red is
good to be ate in cases of constipation, howver I still have
difficulties when pooping. Happily with God's help I was able to
poop today twice even thought I felt like I couldn't poop
completely again. I'm starting to think that this problem's source
are more deep. I experienced the same a couple of times previous
year. The food here is also a reason. The food is simply terrible.
I have absolutely no idea what to do next in my life. I don't know
what will happen with this university it will be really ridiculous
if I didn't succeed this semester I've prayed so much to God with a
requests to grant me graduate this times. Two days ago I woke up
eary in 6:00 o'clock in the morning because my room was filled with
a weed odour probably some mate was smoking weed, it is so terrible
in this country. I have absolutely no idea what to do with myself
next even if I graduate. Today I went to the bathroom at least 30
times (or more) attempting to bring some poo, my stomach was
swollen and I couldn't bring the poop out ... I'm constantly
thinking about becoming a priest or a monk right after I graduate.
There is no much that really hold me to this world. My health
problems causing frequent urination are calling up again ... it's
really hard to live in this condition I don't understand why God
doesn't heal me from that but anyways I cannot do much about. I
couldn't pray much anymore, I also feel so weak and tired this
days. It's getting darker and darker in this world. The weather is
getting more and more insane, probably the day of the lord is
coming near. Apart from that today I went to Ina's home cause we
had to work on the IBP plan. I've asked a friend of mine to design
a logo for our company and he did a great job. Tomorrow we have to
meet the teacher and ask him about what we have as a plan so far.
Later on I went to Sali and helped to Mimi (his wife) to peel some
potatoes, afterwards Sali borrowed me one of his bikes as he
usually does and we went for a drive around in the city. We went
throught the city center the Sonsbeek park and another park near
Sonsbeek after which we came back to his place. His wife Mimi
treated me with some fried potatoes which was pretty nice I haven't
eaten fried potatoes for maybe 5 months. That's mostly what is
happening, anyways I should thank God for his abundant mercies to
me the sinner. Glory be to The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit
now and forever and ever! Amen!