The Sunday and two days afterwards
On sunday a CD stuck into my notebook CD drive. I was totally
scared and feeling bad since the notebook is one of my main ways to
work and entertain. I was thinking about opening the notebook, I
had a bad Sunday from the start anyways. As far as I can remember
the Saturday wasn't a pleasent one as well. What I did is I prayed
to God in the Name of Jesus, I prayed to Jesus and prayed God
Almighty (The Holy Trinity). To let me fix it, I had a sort of
thoughts telling me all is gonna be OK. I tried restarting the
machine and tried ejecting the DVD unsuccesfully, then I did a
small research online, googling for the possible causes of my
problem. I saw few posts which said actually other Thinkpad users
seem to have similar problems and some of them fixed it through
resetting the BIOS, other guys has used the Lenovo ThinkVantage and
Flushed BIOS etc. Then I saw in a forum that a pin always work. So
I started looking for an object I could use as a pin. I didn't
found anything that might do the work, so I climbed the stairs and
went to Maria's room and asked for a pin a clipper or whatever that
I may use to try to eject the DVD from the Drive. She said she had
a clipper, and fortunately pushing the pin hole on my cdrom ejected
the Combo Drive! HallyluYah! I was so happy God has heard my
prayer! Hooray! I should add I was extremely joyful during most of
the day in the Sunday afternoon I decided to go out since I need to
stimulate my blood circulation. I had a walk in the Presikhaf Park,
a park which is near the dorm. Then I decided to go to the park
which is besides the University after the railway. I could remember
I was in a pretty bad mood. I felt so desolate and lonely suffering
from the fact that it's so hard to learn new things (e.g. english
words for example). In the park I felt a little relief. I prayed
few times, but I felt I was pretty much away from God. The Monday I
had spend the whole day in my room. At supper time I had a supper
with some of the other Bulgarians and Sali (the Bulgarian gypsy I
blogged about few days ago). Actually Ina organized the dinner to
express her gratitude to Koko and Sali for finding her the job
place as a waitress at L'umier (a coffee restaurant where she is
employeed now). To be honest after the dinner I overeat (glut), and
I had terrible emotional spiritual suffers consequently. Just to
make the picture more complete I haven't stool (made a ca-ca /
defecate
for at least 3 days, which made me feel really
unconfortable 'bout that. My head was completely mixed yeserday I
was really non-productive I tried hard to write a part for my
assignment for European Integration (EIN), I had to find out and
prepare everything related to Social Security in European Law and
International Law. Well might have been my mistake but even though
I looked really extensible I didn't really found much revelant info
... Oh Boy, Oh Boy. I tried to get to bed earlier around 12 but I
couldn't fall a sleep for 2 hours, I felt really miserable
spiritually I begged God for mercy, I felt so lonely and broken
.... No words to describe the things got even worse-off because
some guys above or below my room were having a noisy party until 4
o'clock. Since I couldn't fall asleep at a point I stand up and sat
before my PC. And stayed up before at least 3 o'clock ... I don't
know when exactly did I fall asleep. But in the morning I was woken
up by a laughs and loud and lively conversations (ugh!) in the
communal room (the cooridor). It took me some time to realize where
I am do partly my morning exercises comb my hair (which usually
takes me 6 or 7 minutes). Ate 2 KIWIS as a mean of breakfast packed
my school bag with my laptop, went to the kitchen, prepared a tea
drank a cup of milk. And went to the university, every minute today
was like a decade in hell. Oh Lord it was such a nightmare I felt
so profound and inescapable spiritual/emotional? I couldn't
determine exactly which one of pain, but my guess is there were
both of them up there. At school I had some relief for a while then
I had that bad mood again. I spend most of the day reading in
Wikipedia about EU and the World Bank and economy in general. I'm
trying to improve my english and learn new words because it seems
my English vocabulary needs a serious betterment. In the later
afternoon I started feeling a way better (because of God's grace
which started emerging). I have a feeling that I should fast. When
I don't eat food I feel so much better. At night time I watched few
series of the Cyberpunk anime I'm watching right now called "Serial
Experiments Lain", quite interesting one including high-tech weird
scenes, philosophy and a bit of religios attitude. The previous few
days I really felt like my head is gonna explode I went through a
serious mind shock. The sad thing is that I don't really got it why
I felt in that way I have some theories, but I can't proof neither
one if it. I know for sure satan tried to kick myself in a bad way.
Praise God for not leaving me in sheitan's hands but delivered me
in his Holy Light again! Blessed, Blessed, Blessed be Ohh Holy of
Israel! Amen!