Walking in Light With Christ - hip0's personal blog on System Administration, Free Software, Computer Security and Religion

Yesterday I was to Dzemil's place. Dzemil is a colleague I had for the previous two years in "International College Albena" or as it is known nowdays "International University College". This guys is a really interesting one he is Ethnical Albanian who moved from Croatia where he used to live to Macedonia, just to make the story complete he is a Muslim. I tried to explain his why the Muslim religion is a fake one. And how that has been prophecisied by the St. Apostles in the New Testament in the Bible. I hope he took my word for it. Apart from that we have this great discussion about the Balkans and the the country's there. The more I listened to him the more convinced I became that it's a complete mess there. So many ethincity and so many people and it looks everybody fights for a different thing. It's even scary to think about it ... Anyways when I came back home Starship Troopers has already been downloaded so I watched it. Great Sci-FI movie, it's quite obvious how blizzard's starcraft Zerg race had taken a lot conceptual ideas out of it. A nice movie to see if you have the time and the will take your time and watch it I'm sure you won't regret that.

Tomorrow Monday, we're on our way to Brussels. We'll be there for 3 days. The aim of our trip and visitation to the European parliament and the meetings with the Euro deputies who happen to be a country representatives is to answer the question how far is the integration in the European Union. The good thing is that Mr. Joop Vinke the HRQM dean has provided us with a sponsor who is granting us 4100 EUR! All who were willing to participate in the project had to participate in the organization and preparations to make the trip possible. Some has to book the hotel rooms others had to take care for the train tickets and the rest of us had to organize at least 5 meetings with Euro representatives. We'll gather the data we need from Euro deputies in a form of Q&A interviews. I should note that working with this bunch of assholes is a complete nightmare. The whole preparations lacked any kind of structure task between responsible groups weren't divided properly. Some of the students that took responsibilities for some of the things didn't cared much so they haven't done it properly IMHO. My group of 3 people includes Allan and Mathijs and yes working with them is a taugh job. I want enter into details but in general the whole thing was a big mess. I just hope that things will went flawless in Brussels in the European Parliament and in the European Economic Social Commitee where luckily thanks to God I was able to arrange a visitation and an interview. Mrs. Nadia Boekhouf was really kind to me but I can foresee God's work behind that. I prayed to God that we go to Brussels. And obviously our mercyful God has answered with Yes! Thanks Lord! I'm trying to fast right now although I'm not really succesful yes I abstain from meat, eggs, milk animal products etc. but at the same time I eat a lot of food. Here in the Netherlands all people are eating a lot it's terrible. Sometimes I cannot stop eating ... I'm in an internal struggles I'm uncertain what I should do with my life. I don't know if I do fit with this world. Everything is so fake, quite often I think about becoming a priest or monk. The lack of good friends and regular communication with "interesting" people makes me sad and quite often irritated. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a bad nightmare. I should thank God that he is too merciful to me and especially thank him here that I almost don't have work on the servers and all runs smoothly. I humbly bow down before the creator the HOly Trinity (The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit)! Amen Glory be to God Almighty! Everytime I fall(despair) and it's almost everyday, he is there to bring me up again ...

Just watched an interesting sci-fi nominated in the top 100 sci-fi's of all times. In the film it is coined the term "ID" just like ID software. It refers to a place in our subconscious minds full of monsters. The film is worthy to be seen. I think now I know where does ID sofware took their name from. Here in the Netherlands it is snowing quite a lot since Friday. However not much snow is heaped, it melts quite quickly. At Friday I laundered my clothes dred them on the heater in my room. Yesterday I had a small walk in the alley near the dormitory which is like a small "path" surrounded by trees. This weather here is so whacky when I went for the walk it was shining 10 minutes later it rained piles of snow. At night time we met with Allan to discuss things about the final presentation in International Labour Law. I just pray God that he helps me finish my stuff on time. I'm quite lazy and my right part of the teeths in my mouth hurts. I tend to eat a lot of times per day. I really dunno why. Yesterday I cooked the so traditional Bulgarian Lentil meal. Now maybe I'll rest for a while cause I feel little bit tired. At 1st of December me and 17 more studens are going to Brussels for a visitation to the European Parliament. It would be great to have that trip. The main reason for our visitation there is to have interviews with European Parliament representatives. Thanks God that will make it! The trip was almost failed and I thought that it might be even impossible to go at the end. I prayed God that if he want then it will be great to go there and yes obviously he granted that. My time here is quite a lot monothone but that's life. I'm usually in a big distress when God's grace is not filling me sinful body and when I don't receieve from his divine mercies, well at least not feeling it ...

At Monday I felt "mad" I shared, I had a small chat with Lily and Stoqn and shared my bad emotional, spiritual state. I also spoke over skype with my family a couple of times. I shared that I feel my studies are going nowhere and I have psychological problems. It was really kind of them to encourage me and tell me that all that matters is my wellness and this studies are not so important but I'm the more important thing for them. Servers are running fine for which Glory to God! I just red my previous post it's a total mess I've lost a couple of words and some meanings has no meaning at all. The sentences clearly pictures my frustration and bad condition. I have that spiritual sorrow laid on my chest every now and then it's really hard to manage it. I have a days where it was completely gone. And now it's back here again. The last 2 nights I spend in a talks with Alex (a school friend of mine) and since he is asking questions about my faith I'm trying to be as comprehensive as possible. He strongly disaggrees with my belief and is in doubt that Jesus is Lord! I tried to explain him that it's the devil who puts that thoughts in his mind trying to prevent him of believing in Christ and receive his salavion through the Saviour. Yesterday he called me fanatic which I don't mind since that will glorify our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ! Yesterday I went to Aldi and bought some carrots and a toilet paper because I'm running out of it. At the early morning we had a business ethics class with Toine Sterk and Ruelof Vinke. What a mess this class is. Everytime I try to open my mouth saying my point of view. They start mocking me and making me look fun. A lot of students support them. Quite often I think this is because I believe in Christ and the demons dislike the truth being said so they're incite them upon me. In 4 weeks time I'll have to have a presentation ready for Business Ethics I have absolutely no idea plus I have to work in group with other people again. It's so hard to work in group with students it's hellish I would say. At night time I pray a bit in the mornings I do the same, I have absolutely no idea where all this is gonna end. My mind is tired I need rest. I always wanted a sharp mind but mine is not so sharp or at least the devil suppresses my mental power this days. So I can't do anything right. At Thuesday we have an Counselling and HRE class. We played a game in Counseling about Cleopatra and Caesar (A cat and a fish). The story is quite interesting one and it's about advancing students questioning skills. The story goes like this (I recall it from memories), the cat jumped and tried to enter the aquarium in order to eat the fish but the aquarium dropped down. The fish died because of lack of water and the cat died because in his attempt to swallow the goldfish it does swalled a broken glass, the glass stucked in his throat and the cat also dropped dead :). Fortunately the stereo speakers owned by the cat stayed intact (that's how the story ends). This morning when I woke up I had that pains in the area near the abdomen and pains in my lower back. I prayed I ate 2 of the euroshopper croissant I had bought few days ago then devoured a banana and before that I ate 10 nut. I have that habbit of eating nut. At night time I usually wait for Ina to come back from his work and we eat half prepared spaghetti the Bulgarians here use to call them (noodles). Well I think that's it in short how my life is going it isn't nothing special neither is it interesting. At 16 of December we have scheduled that we are going back to Bulgaria for 13 days or so. I'm looking forward to go there. I more and more start realizing that I'm not ready for the Business, my english vocabulary is really, really poor one. And my mind is not so good as I though before I don't have much difficulties here but still it's quite often hard to me. Some time ago a friend of me has pointed me to the news that one of the Bulgarian believed to be a prophet (Baba Vanga) has prophecisied (although we Christians know she was an unclean spirit possesseth) that when America is being governed by a Black president then the WW3 is going to emerge and America is gonna split. It's an interesting fact to hear but it is nothing more than a gossip. I am impatient to go to God since living on this earth happens to be so hard for me ...

Yesterday I received the mournful news. My uncle has passed away from this life after almost 5 years of being bed-ridden if I'm not mistaken. He used to suffer a terrible sickness which is quite common mostly for Jewish people. His liver has stopped working at all 3 days ago or so. The doctors said he is on his way. So on 14.11.2008 he has passed from the living to I hope (God) ... .. I have only good memories about him. Especially when I was a kid he used to buy me chocolate eggs (kinder surprise) on a regular basis. I used to wash his car at (Kozluduici) the village of my grandma and grandpa from my father's side. The last time I saw in a normal condition was when we had a dinner together at a restaurant. I plainly can remember that he looked tired. I asked him uncle what's going on with you, and he said he is trying to learn Italian but he's too old for learning italian, he looked advanced in years although he was still a little after 40's.. I pray that God (Jesus) has mercy on him and has taken him in heaven and saved him from eternal damnation. Today I went to a Liturgy at the Orthodox church in Arnhem at last it was opened there was a church service and the Bishop or (Archibishop?) Antonii from Moldova was especially а guest for this church service. It was hard to communicate with most of the people of the Church since it was a Russian Church and most people spoke in Russian a language that I couldn't understand. God has grant me from his divine grace. During the service I would say that satan tried to sow bad thoughts about the priests and bishop because both of them were with bellies .. Which I tried to fight but it was really hard for me to fight it, so I prayed God to forgive me about that. The previous week I haven't done anything right I have to do tons of presentatoins and assignments and I couldn't because I feel stucked every time I try to start them ... Oh Jesus Christ Lord and saviour please teach me help me to make that things on time I can't alone. I feel regret, I'm sick of feeling regret the physical infirmity I suffer is also I hard one to walk with ... Until Oh Lord you won't have mercy over me the sinner ... Please Lord Mercy, Heal me Lord gracious Lord Jesus I'll proclaim your miracle and serve you until my last day I promise if you just fix my mind and body ...

I was able to stove (poop) at the end normally. What a relief. It was rightous for me to be judged like this because the previous few weeks I really used to eat heavy and junk foods like peanut butter. The biggest mistake I made was eating continuesly rise without knowing that actually that would cause constipation as an effect. I asked few friends to pray for my problem. And Thanksfully to God's mercy over me the sinner. Now I could have a normal poop. Such a relief! Thanks be Blessed Lord and Saviour of my Soul ! Amen. Let me add few words about today We had International Labour Class and then right after that Business Ethics. The next time we had to present in the ILLW class. The Business Ethics class was a killing one. Total non-sense. A lot of Human low philosophize and eartly reasoning, a lot of argue which I strongly dislike, and schizophrenic behaviour among the 3 teachers that was supposed to teach us on our behalf. After the class me and Christine did filled in the decision form for the Management Game 4 next week. And went to Mr. Philip DaPonte room to ask him few questions to get a bit more understanding on which path we should take in the 2nd phase of the CHM plan. At home I had a nice meal because the only thing I had ate early in the morning was just one pear. Now I sit here at my room discussing/sharing stuff about my faith in Jesus Christ ! For the Glory of the Father, Through the Greatness of God's Holy Spirit. I'm waiting for Ina to come back from her room because she left me the keys for her room. In order to be able to take/eat from the food stored in her fridge I'm listening to ancientfaithradio.com, this one is such a blessing! I'll close my post with a few regretting posts. I spoke today at around dinner time with my parents. And I found out my Uncle's sickness is even getting worse. His liver discards to operate at all so he is getting worse and worse day by day because there is no organ that could cleanse him from all the poisonous fluids in his body .. I pray God in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ that he might have mercy on my Uncle :(( Please Lord, Please have mercy on my uncle Valentin and us the sinners ...

Today we went to the city center of Arnhem with Ina and Ina helped me to buy a winter coat a shawl and a winter hat. I'm so dazed the whole day that might be a consequence of the fact I haven't pooped normally since 4 days or so. I felt so bad there in the center so disconnected from all this ppl buying. This life is definetely not for me. I'm starting to disfuse more and more, when will I be ... something that matters. Since I have constipation I prayed the Lord that he grants me to have a bowel movement (drop the poops out of me), still I haven't made a caca. At least the servers were running quite OK today. Thanks Lord, I still hope on your mercy ...

When watched the whole sequel of the anime I got really in love with the OP song so I loked for the lyrics and the song itself, since it is so nice I decided it's a cool thing to share it. There it goes

Duvet
Serial Experiments Lain OP
Sung by: BoA


And you don't seem to understand
A shame you seemed an honest man
And all the fears you hold so dear
Will turn to whisper in your ear
And you know what they say might hurt you
And you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling, I am fading
I have lost it all

And you don't seem the lying kind
A shame then I can read your mind
And all the things that I read there
Candle lit smile that we both share
and you know I don't mean to hurt you
But you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning
Help me to breathe
I am hurting, I have lost it all
I am losing
Help me to breathe

******

And the song itself is located here Enjoy

Restore your peace oh my soul, for God has done a good fthing to you! If I recally correctly this passage from the bible clearly is being proven in my life exactly now! Glory be to the Holy of Israel (The Father, The Son and Holy Spirit!) Now and in all ages to come! Today I asked a friend of mine about how much he is going to pay me for the administration of a server I'll take care for in the future! And He said 300 lv! God hasn't forgotten me nor forsaken me. Right now I need this money to pay the ediucation tuition fee and dormitory fee next semester. What I can do is humbly thanks God and Bless him from the bottom of my being! Blessed be Oh Lord my Saviour. Thakns for the gladness you expressed towards me the sinner! Hallellujah, Hallelujah , Hallelujah! Now let me make a quick overview of my day. I would say an easy one it was. I had a lot of work at a point but it through Christ's grace I was able to do everythig flawlessly. Like it's said in the bible it's not me but God himself who does everything in me! At the late afternoon Dzhemil and Pavel came to my room and we had a nice chat about our living here in the Netherlands, I laundered my clothes and cleaned my room with the vacuum cleaner.10 minutes ago I had my supper rice with vegetables that was left from yesterday night Now I'm gonna watch the last 2 series of Serial Experiments Lain. And afterwards will go to bed or relax a bit pray and go to bed.

Today I experienced God's blessing in a form of abundant grace plus the fact that an old friend asked me if I'm able to configure a server for him which will be a profit of 250 EU for me! Glory be to God (The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit!) Now and Forever and Ever! Amen ! Another think I'm extremely thankful is that the day was quite OK. No serious problems with servers everything ran smoothly. Thanks Lord!

On sunday a CD stuck into my notebook CD drive. I was totally scared and feeling bad since the notebook is one of my main ways to work and entertain. I was thinking about opening the notebook, I had a bad Sunday from the start anyways. As far as I can remember the Saturday wasn't a pleasent one as well. What I did is I prayed to God in the Name of Jesus, I prayed to Jesus and prayed God Almighty (The Holy Trinity). To let me fix it, I had a sort of thoughts telling me all is gonna be OK. I tried restarting the machine and tried ejecting the DVD unsuccesfully, then I did a small research online, googling for the possible causes of my problem. I saw few posts which said actually other Thinkpad users seem to have similar problems and some of them fixed it through resetting the BIOS, other guys has used the Lenovo ThinkVantage and Flushed BIOS etc. Then I saw in a forum that a pin always work. So I started looking for an object I could use as a pin. I didn't found anything that might do the work, so I climbed the stairs and went to Maria's room and asked for a pin a clipper or whatever that I may use to try to eject the DVD from the Drive. She said she had a clipper, and fortunately pushing the pin hole on my cdrom ejected the Combo Drive! HallyluYah! I was so happy God has heard my prayer! Hooray! I should add I was extremely joyful during most of the day in the Sunday afternoon I decided to go out since I need to stimulate my blood circulation. I had a walk in the Presikhaf Park, a park which is near the dorm. Then I decided to go to the park which is besides the University after the railway. I could remember I was in a pretty bad mood. I felt so desolate and lonely suffering from the fact that it's so hard to learn new things (e.g. english words for example). In the park I felt a little relief. I prayed few times, but I felt I was pretty much away from God. The Monday I had spend the whole day in my room. At supper time I had a supper with some of the other Bulgarians and Sali (the Bulgarian gypsy I blogged about few days ago). Actually Ina organized the dinner to express her gratitude to Koko and Sali for finding her the job place as a waitress at L'umier (a coffee restaurant where she is employeed now). To be honest after the dinner I overeat (glut), and I had terrible emotional spiritual suffers consequently. Just to make the picture more complete I haven't stool (made a ca-ca / defecate for at least 3 days, which made me feel really unconfortable 'bout that. My head was completely mixed yeserday I was really non-productive I tried hard to write a part for my assignment for European Integration (EIN), I had to find out and prepare everything related to Social Security in European Law and International Law. Well might have been my mistake but even though I looked really extensible I didn't really found much revelant info ... Oh Boy, Oh Boy. I tried to get to bed earlier around 12 but I couldn't fall a sleep for 2 hours, I felt really miserable spiritually I begged God for mercy, I felt so lonely and broken .... No words to describe the things got even worse-off because some guys above or below my room were having a noisy party until 4 o'clock. Since I couldn't fall asleep at a point I stand up and sat before my PC. And stayed up before at least 3 o'clock ... I don't know when exactly did I fall asleep. But in the morning I was woken up by a laughs and loud and lively conversations (ugh!) in the communal room (the cooridor). It took me some time to realize where I am do partly my morning exercises comb my hair (which usually takes me 6 or 7 minutes). Ate 2 KIWIS as a mean of breakfast packed my school bag with my laptop, went to the kitchen, prepared a tea drank a cup of milk. And went to the university, every minute today was like a decade in hell. Oh Lord it was such a nightmare I felt so profound and inescapable spiritual/emotional? I couldn't determine exactly which one of pain, but my guess is there were both of them up there. At school I had some relief for a while then I had that bad mood again. I spend most of the day reading in Wikipedia about EU and the World Bank and economy in general. I'm trying to improve my english and learn new words because it seems my English vocabulary needs a serious betterment. In the later afternoon I started feeling a way better (because of God's grace which started emerging). I have a feeling that I should fast. When I don't eat food I feel so much better. At night time I watched few series of the Cyberpunk anime I'm watching right now called "Serial Experiments Lain", quite interesting one including high-tech weird scenes, philosophy and a bit of religios attitude. The previous few days I really felt like my head is gonna explode I went through a serious mind shock. The sad thing is that I don't really got it why I felt in that way I have some theories, but I can't proof neither one if it. I know for sure satan tried to kick myself in a bad way. Praise God for not leaving me in sheitan's hands but delivered me in his Holy Light again! Blessed, Blessed, Blessed be Ohh Holy of Israel! Amen!

In short Sali ( A Bulgarian gipsy immigrant ), ringed and woke me up in the morning.I had my ordinary things in the morning exercises prayers etc. Then had a breakfast in the kitchen. We went for a shopping with Ado. I bought some basic stuff we needed. It was rainy the whole day. Although the rain I took my umbrella and took the road to Sali's lodging place. I should say he and all his family was quite hospitable, which is quite normal for a muslim family. Muslims try to be good. The reason for my visit there was the fact that, few things were required to be done on Sali's recently bought laptop. The required things was install Bulgarian and English language pack and change the current windows to Bulgarian instead of the terrible Dutch (Ugh! Yaikes!), and setup the wireless. I setup the wireless but it seemed that the wireless wasn't distributing Internet for some reason. After a bit of fight and tries to download language packs from Internet using an open wireless network which was accessible every occasionally. I told them that if they want me to fix the things with the language packs I have to take the laptop home. So I took it home. It took me whole day to configure this hellish Vista. It seems the User Privileges Editor ain't working so I had to edit manually the users, through cmd line. I tried to follow a tutorial in youtube, and most probably I did it wrong but in the end I ended locked out of the system! ARGHH, Then I was ANGRY. I had to research how to reset the windows password. So at the end I followed a tutorial online which suggested the usage of the "Trinity Linux Rescue Kit CD". I downloaded the CD booted and did the following in order to reset the password of the users and activate some of them. Here is how I did it

1. # Boot Trinity RescueCD Kit
2. Mount the target ntfs partition where windows is occcupied, let's say
cd /mnt/sdax/windows/Windows/System32/config
3. list all available accounts on the windows system
chntpw -l SAM
4. Change or edit users passwords
chnpw -u USERNAME SAM (substitute USERNAME with your desired username)
... Then read and follow your choice according to the options
5. Unmount the ntfs mounted partition and reboot
 
The CD is equipped with a winpass cmd which is supposed to easify the pwd reset or change procedure but unfortunately
this didn't worked for me for some reason

If all wents well like with me you should be able to login now to your Windows Vista machine! Hooray! I should thank God for this day and for helping me solve the problem! Glory be to the Father and The Son and the Holy Spirit! Now an in Every Ages to Come ! Amen ! Right now I'm listening to an orthodox radio I often enjoy. Check it out Here! I'll go to bed in a minute now.