April 2009 Archives
Tue Apr 28 18:10:42 EEST 2009
Christ is Risen ! Truly he is Risen/ Indeed he is Risen!
Dear Brothers and sisters, Christ is
Risen / Hristos Voskrese! This 3 days sorrounding the Orthodox
Easter celebrations or Passover was one of the most spiritually
rich and joyful in my life so far. God's grace peace and joy was
abundant, the church services we had here in the Russian Orthodox
Church Abroad was so realistic, I felt like really being on our
Lord and saviour Jesus burial, the shround in which he was wrapped
and the holy liturgies, I also got some nice explanations from the
priest who was there from moscow especially for that bright
celebration. There are 3 Church services day after another. This
was quite refreshing to me, since I'm not feeling spiritually here
as I have blogged in my previous post. I cannot describe the joy I
experienced, Also the Lord game me the chance to share the good
news of the gospel with a couple of people here. On the 2nd day the
Bulgarians has organized a feast to celebrate the celebration, what
was pity was that they were not really celebrating the resurrection
of our Lord but was enjoying themselves Anyways. The Liturgy
on the first day of the resurrection of Christ was actually two
liturgies combined in one and was the longest church service I have
ever attended in my life, it lasted for around 5 years, and right
after the priest did a food blessing service (not sure about the
english name) in Bulgarian we call it "vodosvet". Then all the
people who stayed until the end of the Church service sat together
prayed and started eating, I ated a lot there! The food was so
delicious. The relations between me and the rest especially Rob was
so nice, we were exactly like kids who just has received their
gifts (the food). I have to mention that on the previous day I also
has confessed infront of the priest and he explained me the
difference between this church and ours and also blamed our church
for taking part of the ecomenism (well he had a point about that).
On the Church service on a couple of times I felt my legs really
weak so I had to sit every now and then. We went out of the church
and singed Christ is Risen from the Dead Trampling up death by
death and to those in tombs bestowing life! The priest proclaimed
the resurrection in around 6 languages! in which all type of
lenguages were answered the equivalent words for "Truely is
Risen!". I went out of the Church in 7:00 (in the morning!)
overfilled
with joy and happiness and The Lord's grace. It was exactly like
I've spend hours out of the world for quite some time, I would say
an unbelievable experience. I did the dishes right before I left
the Church in the morning, Svetla decided to give me some food for
home Which
was quite nice, food in the Church seems like from a different
substance from the normal food here in the Netherlands, more or
less I feel it like the Bulgarian food. I had also the oportunity
to test a lot of Russian food, like for example a sort of soar cake
named right after the celebration "Pasha", there was a long
interesting cakes as well I forgot how they used to call them.
There was a lot of russian food, many of which was quite similar to
ours in Bulgaria! Everything I experienced their and the joy and peace cannot
be simple explained in a text, just have to went through it. I
should be amazingly thankful to God for bringing me in the true
source of faith the Orthodoxy! Glory be to you Almightly Lord
(Glory be to the Father, The Son and The holy Spirit!) now and
forever and ever! Amen
Tue Apr 28 17:34:08 EEST 2009
I blog again :)
I haven't blogged for quite some
time. First I glorify the Almighty God our Blessed Holy Trinity for
his abundant mercy towards me!! Glory be to the Father, The Son and
The Holy Spirit! Now and forever and ever! Amen. I start with this
loud words and I have so many things to say. But yes yesterday a
joyful news came to me it seems my Exemption letter for Internship
has been Approved! I prayed to God that he make them approve this
exemption letter because I want to graduate asap and go back to
Bulgaria. Here in the Netherlands I feel really terrible, the
spiritual state of the country is simply softly said terrible, even
though they seem to be an advanced country from the tangible aspect
of the things from the intangible/spiritually poor. Not to say that
I feel like the devil is controlling most of their lives already.
The complete mix of negroes, chinese, indonesians and all other
type of races makes the country mixed. Here in the air it feels
like a spirits of gluttony are crawling around all the time, also
quite often I feel like madness crossing around the air. Sometimes
I have that strange thoughts in my mind that something is really
wrong with that country. Maybe I had a nice point about that. This
SHR project is getting schizophrenic, anyways glory be to God for
his abundant mercy towards me and sustaining me always. Yesterday
was a terrible day I felt so confused such a profound spiritual
sorrow was rulling me that I can hardly bear it, I had a couple of
terrible days this days. Since some time I am suspecting there is
something wrong here, everytime I have classes with most of the
teachers here I feel terrible afterwards and I usually need a
couple of days to recover to some sane state. In their presence I
experience profound spiritual sorrow and suffering, I've been in a
similar spiritual states before and I know that this simply can be
described in the biblical word hell. Since some time I suspect
something is wrong with this guys (I mean the tachers), a couple of
days Mr. Joop Vinke the guy who seems to be like a dean to us
mentioned during some of the theater sports answered my question
where have been yesterday "to the rotary club" and then he added
like every other day before, it was not clear is he mean it or not.
My suspects became even stronger, because I know that one of my
employers used to be attending rotary club as well I know some
really terrible things happened in his life and I think he quit
that club, anyways. Last week on Friday I met one of my other
teachers (Mr. Da Ponte) and I spoke with him, the conversation
flowed as he mentioned something about the Lord making the sun
circle around the earth, I was interested by his statement so asked
him if he believes in God and if he is a roman catholic. He said he
is not roman catholic and then what followed was a sort of preach
about what he believes and his God as I continusly asked him
questions. From his description I left with the impression that he
is probably believing in the same God of the masonry (I've red
about that just a couple of days before). So many things matched,
the teacher even mentioned that a lot of teachers in that school
are also believing in God and I was left with the impression that
he meant the same God as he believes, so I make the connection that
they are probably rotarians, masons or taking participation in some
sort of organization like that which has to deal pretty much with
the occult. A couple of days before I spoke with a brother in
Christ (Stelian) and I explained him what is happening and about
this BHC (business ethics classes), I explained him how much they
want you to accept what they say and if you don't you are not
worthy, I also explained to Stelio the whole story and how this
guys are able to make you feel really bad. Since this guys tried to
teach us their methods and I tried a couple of times their methods
and saw the effect how by doing "something" "unconsciously" you can
alter the other into a state of broken spiritness and terrible
suffering while at the same time you feel overflowed with joy, a
sort of stealing his living power or Angels so to say. I don't want
to enter into details about that since its to me surely related
with demonic manifestation. I've also remembered that one of the
guest lecturers that Mr. Vinke has brought here mentioned that he
is rotarian, the coincidences started becoming too much seriously.
I also spoke with a student who has graduated and I asked him if he
feels that bad thing inside of him, I was stunned when he
confirmed. Also in that SHR project it really is schizophrenic I
feel that spiritually something really wrong is happening there I
started thinking and I could recognize many of the things done in
classes of Mr. Vinke has to deal with the paranormal even though
not openly showed, even his theater sports has a lot of unconscious
spiritism involved, not to mention his Werewolf games including
vampires, whitches etc. a lot of the theater sport games include
games which include things with dying, you play dead etc., etc. I
also have noticed that teachers often are pointing me and saying
that I'm not changing, many of the students here are changing
seriously for bad. I know by my saviour Jesus Christ who said "by
their fruits you will know them", seeing their fruit suffering,
confusion, hate, lies etc. I started being more and more convinced
that this guys are dealing with the devil. So if my theory is right
and I think it probably is, most of the teachers are members of the
rotary club. Maybe they even see it as harmless way to improve
their business contacts but I know this is not the case, and this
guys are giving oaths, having their strange believes spiritual
leaders and do worship the devil even though not openly. I shared
all that with a couple of my colleagues and many of them probably
just thought that I'm out of my mind. But the holy spirit in me
testified all that the things I am thinking are true. I've shared
what is happening with a brother in Christ (a priest) in the
orthodox Church Bulgaria and he said he is gonna mention my name on
the altar before God on the Divine Liturgies. I guess this matters
because today even though I am not completely okay I feel much
relieved and better and I feel God! Glory be to the Immortal and
Holy of Israel now and unto ages of ages. I try to learn the gospel
a bit early in the morning and a bit late at night before I go to
bed I also try to pray a bit each morning and evening and trust the
Lord to keep me and protect me from the schemes of the evil one!
Yesterday I was at Ina's place and tried to explain her that this
project we do now has something to deal with evil spiritism. I even
have suspected that this guys from the rotary club ask their
members to share information about certain people that the rotary
members work with and then try to bring some curses and spells if
they see somebody as a problem to their practices. I suspect that
this guys somehow use their members as a channels to spread their
evil spirituality. I've also taken the advice of Stelio to start
caring an Icon in me whenever I go to school. Quite often here and
especially in the dormitory I feel something is happening inside of
me, my heart starts beating unsteady I also feel spirits flying
around and trying sort of trying to conquer me this more or less
has to deal with their broken spirituality here. Often I feel
completely exhausted like somebody stealing my living power and
willingness. Also I have noticed that here in their discoteques,
they don't allow you to enter with a hat? My assumption is that
there are somethings placed in the discoteques which has to deal
with inducing thoughts in you. On saturday I and Sali entered into
a discoteque, I was not so willing so I've removed my hat I've
borrowed temporary from Sali. After being in the discoteque on the
day after and on Monday I had terrible headache and felt weak and
pretty much like almost dying, Also I felt something on my forehead
happening, just like I felt on a numerous times the Holy Spirit
annointance and the Lord's spiritual sign on my forehead, I've red
in revelation that the Antichrist is going to put something on
ppl's forehead and and their right hands I'm more and more starting
to think that this in some phase is already working, I've felt
aches on my right hand on a numerous occasions, here often Its like
I fight for my spiritual survivance. People around I see as they're
dead and just living to consume "limed tombs" as they are called in
the gospel. I know that all I've written here might seem like too
much of a conspiracy, however I'm pretty much sure that many of the
things I suppose are true to a certain high degree or even
completely.
Wed Apr 15 00:11:05 EEST 2009
Fiddler on the roof
This days I got passionate in
watching Jewish movies. Yesterday I've watched a great movie, it's
called "Fiddler on the roof". It's a sort of must see movie, it
might be said that it contains a good spiritual message as well.
The day was peaceful thanks to God. Tomorrow I'm joining the
business ethics classes I just hope with God's grace that everybody
would be okay there. Today I had a small chat with the girlfriend
of Nikolay. It seems that she is believing in God. I should thank
God for he gave me words to speak with her about our precious
faith! Glory be to the Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit Now and
into the ages of ages! Amen
Thu Apr 9 23:53:46 EEST 2009
Guest Lecturers from Hungary and today's case study
I would loike to start this post with
thankking the Almighty God who is too generous towards me the
sinner and reckless. Today it was such a nice day. I went to school
a bit late at 09:10 instead of 09:00, however I was still on time.
We had a guest lecturer from Hungary. Quite a nice man we had to
prepare a case study about a hungarian based company Graphisof and
it's expansion on the US market back in the distant 1992. We had to
act as a consultants in front of the management board who happened
to be the teachers from Hungary as well as our teacher Frank Vonk.
He is a nice guy I just wonder how did he got involved with such an
ungodly concepts they use under the name "Gyroscopic Self
Management" or GSM. Anyways today after I went to school firstly
the Hungarian teacher gave us a 29 slides presentation and then we
continued with the case study. In the case study we were required
to use mostly methods presented in the presentation or
alternatively came up with our own ones. We had to do the case
study in a certain time frames through following literally a time
schedule prepared by the Hungarian guys. To be honest I enjoyed
greatly the event, if all days the lectures were like this I'm
pretty much convinced that I would much more interested into the
economic studies. My group consisted of Pavel, Gregorie (a guy from
Corasel)and Henry (a chinese). We did well thanks to God! I got
inspired by the Lord so I came up with pretty interesting solutions
to the case and I gave quite an insightful presentation with the
rest of the guys. To sump up I had a great time. We also completed
(thanksfully, at last!) the IMM report, so now we might move up to
work on the IBP project. 6 o'clock in the late evening I went for
theater sports. There we had a lot of fun and I performed pretty
well. Thanks God! I pray that God use me for his mighty purpose and
lead me to his miraculous ways and deliver me and lead me in the
path of salvation! Glory be to the Father, The Son and The Holy
Spirit now and into the ages of ages! Amen
Mon Apr 6 23:08:01 EEST 2009
A registered mail (Signed letter mail)
Today I almost cracked down. The
story is quite long. It's about sending a registered letter mail. I
realized on Thursday. That theaddress I wrote to the skype of my
sis was missing the postbox number. I prayed on Saturday and Sunday
a bit to God to fix up the whole situation. On Monday I decided to
Go to the local TNT and ask if the registered letter has arrived.
They told me nothing has arrived for Honigkamp 2. That is The
address where I live. They gave me a number told me I should call
and ask how to proceed ih my case and what is the standard
procedure. I called to Sali to ask him if he knows what I'm
supposed to do. He suggested that we went to the TNT central post
office and ask. I asked him if it is convenient for him to go to
his home around 14:00 or 15:00. Then I went to school to the
auditorium we had some lectures scheduled with M. Mayers our
counseling teacher was there. After completing the Belbin Team
Roles test in order to find out which person is most suitable for
what kind of function in our 17 people group. Brian the project
manager assisstent revealed us how to interpret the results from
the test. According to the test I am suitable as implementer a
Shaper and Resource-Evaluator mostly. Then we did an interesting
exercise where we split in two groups and we had the assignment in
which there were 6 people occupying different role in society and
in a different age. We had to select which 3 of them are we going
to save and decide this as a group. This should be counted as a
team building session, it was quite interesting and scary. Because
I realized some day I might face the same dilemma in some form and
then I had to decide for real God forbid. Then I went to the school
library and I worked on my Design.BG report I had to fix some minor
things to align it with the fixed version of the report. Oh yes not
to forget, big thanks to Nomen (Mitko) and Niki( lunarstill) for
checking out the report for errors and coloring the erroneous
things in red. Then I went to Sali, like we have spoken earlier. He
wasn't there. I had a couple of emails to write related to my work
as sys-admin. Then Mimi (Sali's wife) treated me with a coffee :).
Then I called to Sali to ask him if he is coming soon. He proposed
to meet near Aktion. So I took the bike of her nephew (a girlish
one) and went to the city center. They were drinking coffee there
with Koko's father (Bat Birio). We tried to reach for the city
center post but it was closed. I tried to call the number they gave
me earlier in the morning in TNT post and spoke with the guys. But
however that wasn't really helpful. What I got from them is that my
parents need to request for investingation of the letter. I was on
my way to get really angry. I tried to explain to an old Dutch man
who happily spoke some English my problem and ask him to help 'coz
he knows dutch. He hardly grasped what I mean, so I had to explain
it again and again numerous times, that truely irritated me. Then
another man waiting on the queue for picking up post letters. Heard
our conversation and advised me to ask my parents about the letter
number. I went out of the post office tried to call my father and
ask him about that info. My mother picked up the phone and told me
with a bad tone my father has went to my village and was on her way
to scream to me over the phone and blame me for the fact that the
letter was missing the post box on the letter head. I got really
mad and had a desire to break the phone in the ground so I closed
the line. Then we went to Sali and left the bike. I felt really
fucked up and desperate the devil tried to suggest me some ideas
about a suicide again as well as some ideas abotu smoking. So I
started praying, while listening Larry Norman on my mp3 player. I
went to the dorm still in desperation, I passed the pigeon holes,
anyways I thought OK let me check my pigeon hole. And guesss what
HalleluYah! The registration form for the letter my parents sent me
week ago was there! Glory be to Our Father through Our Saviour
Jesus and the Holy Spirit! Glory be to the God Almighty! For
obviously he heard my prayers from Sunday and Saturday and
responded. The whole story had a moral for me from God. If we try
to do things our way without the Lord we might do nothing, as our
Lord and saviour Jesus Christ said "Without me you cannot do
nothing!". However again I tried to act in the newly created
situation the human way I thought nevertheless the fact thatonly 10
minutes were left until the closure of the presikhaf's post office.
I ran up to the post office with the letter acceptance form and
asked for my letter and guess what the lady on the reception told
me that I had to come again after 10:00 the next morning because
the letter haven't arrived yet. The moral that God gave me is it's
all in his hands even in the situation where we thing he is not in
control, he is and things does happen not in the time we want but
in the time he decided!
Mon Apr 6 21:21:14 EEST 2009
Sunday Church clearning
In Sunday, we cleaned the Russian
Orthodox Church. I was a bit late for the cleaning beacause I
mistakenly understand the cleaning is in 13:00 instead of 11:00
o'clock. I ws a bit late as well. When I arrived in the church the
people had almost done with the cleaning and had just prepared the
dinner. It was something we call in Bulgaria "pitka" some russian
version of it, it was filled with cabbage and potatoes. It was
actually quite tasty. Then I have had with the cleaning I was
assigned to Iron some table-cloth for the altar as well as some
other towels used in the Church services. It was my first time to
Iron. I guess I was quite away from doing it the right way. Later I
was assigned to clean up the church windows with a cleaning liquid.
For that purpose I had to haul up a ladder :). After that I cleaned
the ground with a vacum cleaner. When we were done, we had a great
dinner together with the church members. We had prayed with The
Lord's prayer before we ate and after we had our food. So nice it
was, after the supper was done we drinked some tea and cookies and
we talked. I went out of the Church smiling because of God's
abundant joy filling me ! (Thanks Lord) Then I was in doubt shall I
drop by to Sali or not and told God. Lord if it's your will to go
to his place please make that somebody (Sali himself or somebody
from his home) call me. I was just passing his home and her wife
knocked on the house window, so yes it was clear the Lord wanted me
to be there. I spent some time their. Then a lot of people came
Drago, Nikolay and his gfriend. I asked sali to borrow me his bike
for a while and rided around the town, relaxing and getting to know
the town. I went through a place they call "The trolley museum". A
little before I bringed back the bike I went to the city park
(Sonsbeek). Prayed a bit in the park staying on a bench roundabout
the trees and the singing birds, who I guess was praising the
almighty! Then I went back to Sali spent some time their installed
Counter Strike 1.6CS on his notebook for his son named Minko. And
went back to home, ate and watched a bit of Ben Hur. Afterwards I
went to bed after a short prayer and reading of the Old
testament.
Mon Apr 6 20:53:11 EEST 2009
Westervort
On Saturday, me and Kaloyans father
went to a place near Westervort ( a place on a 5 or 6 km away from
Arnhem's center ). There was a nice lake on the end point of the
trip. We drived near a big bridge where cars flowed in a line. We
drived near nice dikes. Everything in the Netherlands is pretty
much ordered. Society more or less feels like communistic. I took a
bike from Sali. After we went back I drived around Arnhem with
Sali's bike just to come to know the city. And spent some nice time
in the Sonsbeek. At night after I bringed back the bike after the
nice stroll. I went to Sali's house to tell him I bringed back the
bike and see what's happening there since his nephew had her 14th
birthday. There were a lot of gipsy's gathered together feasing.
The scenery was so nice a bit funny but what was nice that this
people kept strongly united in their relationship, simple and true.
Then I went home. Recently I watched a nice movie "The Ten
Commandments" which is based on the old testament's Exodus, where
God delivered the jews from bondage, quite a nice movie I strongly
recommend it to anybody who haven't seen it. I'm reading the Old
testament every morning and evening, a small piece of text every
now and then. Faith is what keeps me going, the world is so dead,
headed to it's end, nothing that gives life their. I see this
ordered country and more or less I see people who are comnsumers
living just to exist. It's sad. I forgot to mention I had exam in
Accounting 5 ACF5, the exam was a nightmare I just hope that God
would do miracle for me to make me pass! I know for God all things
are possible and if he has decided I will pass, even though I
didn't made write much on the exam and it wasn't familiar I believe
God would grant me to pass! As he did previously numerous times
before.