Life going nowhere ...
Seems, My life is going nowhere. Today I drinked half of a bottle
of Wine and 1 beer. I was out with Alex. We drinked in the city
part. Through the day I started my first bsd jail using a tutorial
online. I smoked a lot of cigarettes and I want to stop them again.
Most of the people I met are not a good company for me that's what
I'm thinking more and more. Also I'm thinking more and more I have
to change my living place. If only I could find the love of my life
... We moved bookshelf and stuff from our room ( My mother again
has decided to make repairs in our room. ). I'm asking myself why
shall I live a meaningless life. At least my interest into
computers and computing started to appear again (this is cool). My
faith is really going away since I pray and pray for something ..
and I don't receive it ( Or at least I don't see it). I'm tired of
waiting. I need to have this physical healing to continue my normal
life. I'm not proud of me I was a little aggressive when we was in
the Mino's coffee before an hour or so ... Now I intend to watch
another episode of stargate SG1. And to go to the DreamLand. If
only I could live into a Dreamland all the time. I'm starting to
realize I should change the music I listen, I should change alot of
my behaviours If I want to have a new and happy life. Autumn is a
beautiful Season
The autumn rain shall come and restore us