Well again a serie of my life is going
nowhere
Nothing much to say except I'm physically fucked up, I suffer badly
and I'm tired of this very tired. I need a relief when The hack
would the relief be. I'm not ungrateful but most of the people
around me doesn't seem to be much like doing God's will. I need a
new place in life. I'm very unhappy for my uncompleteness of the
body for my sickness. I prayed to God a lot and still there isn't
healing there are two possible variants 1. God is very angry with
me with my past ( Something I hope is not true)., and refuses to
heal. 2. That's exact God purpose for me always to be in pain. I'm
praying day after day about a specific thing I'm starting to loose
faith that what I pray for would come one day. I hate this
incomplete existence so much ! I often disgust of the life's (or at
least what I see). I sometimes think about becoming a Monk. Seems
like things are going nowhere in my life again I'm sick of
accepting a live I'm not happy with ... Living day after day only
to exist without a reason ...