Walking in Light With Christ - hip0's personal blog on System Administration, Free Software, Computer Security and Religion

Some time ago I stumbled upon a great website. I believe this website is a whole blessing for every Christian out there. I warmly recommend it to everybody who wants to learn more about the orthodox saints and especially about St. Seraphim Rose. Here is the website itself. Happy reading! And let love of God the FAfther and the grace of Our Lord Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit be with you. Amen!

This is the 3rd day in which Ina is helping me to prepare my ILLW project. For which I'm extremely thanksful ofcourse. During the weekend she came to my room in the dorm and spend the afternoon in here. Yesterday night I suggested to send her to her place and have a walk a little walk around. When we were close to their apartment she offered me to stay in her place for a while. Eventually I accepted, they were right to have a dinner. Their fellow-tenant (a dutch) has prepared a dinner for them. A THAI meal including chicken with Vegetables and Rise. Wow it was so kind of him. They invited me to go and eat with them, I told them i'm going on the down floor in the kitchen only on condition that I'm not going to eat with them. However the Dutch guy invited me as well so I ate with them it was really delicision one of the most delicisios meal that I had here in the Netherlands! I asked him about his activities is he learning or studying. He said he is working as chef in a restaurant. After the dinner we had a long conversations. he shared that he is divorced until 2 years and he really misses his 13 year old child. He explained how hurted he is because of the fact that he saw his sons twice for 2 years. In fact yes terrible stuff .. He then started sharing more and more for his life. It happened that before he became a professional chef he used to work in a theater he was an artist. He told us a bit for his past when he was working as a prince in the biggest nowdays fairy tales park in the Netherlands. We spoke a lot about religion as well, because I told him that if he wants things with the relations with his sons to get better then he can pray. I explained him that prayer works and told him about my saviour and Lord Jesus. And how I called upon the Lord in my anguish and how God did heard my desperate and how he restored my health and all the miracles that he did for me and all the bad things he has delivered me from. Unfortunately, he was simply disbelieving. He shared later on that he was baptized in a Catholic Church and that he used to sing with the Church chorus. And he was a bit of I would say superstitious and at the same time he thought that he could achieve everything alone. He wanted to know about what is after death. So I pointed him to St. Seraphim rose and his famous work life after death. If somebody ou there haven't red it yet then I warmly recommend his writtings. His work is called "Life After Death" and it's nature is a description of the first 40 days after physical death. Read it please here . Unfortunately he was disbelieving as the conversation approached he shared that recently he went through a big shock and went completely dark his fellow-tenants called the hospital and the cops and he was psychicly unstable. So they sent him for a medication. He used to meet psychiatrists numerous times, he wanted to know what is wrong with him. Eventually he set himself through a hypnosis process. And the hopnotist told him that this problem is rooted in a bad accident that happened to him as a child. I asked him what happened and he said "Well I'll told you what happened. I was raped!". To be honest I was a little bit shocked to hear that revelation let out of his mouth .. Anyways I felt bad for the guy. I tried to tell him as much I could about God and explain him how I found God or better to say God found me ... etc. etc. It was getting late and he decided to go to his room so I went back home I had a little prayer time (I prayed a little bit if it's God will to save the guy) just like he had mercy on me the sinner back and is having the same mercy everyday. Today it was the first day for the new exchange students just like it is the first school day here for Ina's brother and two other Bulgarians who use to live with Ina. This are Alexandrina and Ivan. I hope they'll manage it and they'll complete their studies just well. I'll end up the post with a few words about today. Today I went to the university at 10:30 after I had my morning exercises and ate few bread slices with honey and a kiwi. I went to school met Ina there we worked on the project. Well to be honest I didn't really worked much Ina is doing most of my project in ILLW which is so kind of her. What I mostly did is write a couple of emails to my colleague and research stuff about the project. In the university I drinked a coffee, well yes nowdays I'm drinking coffee sometimes. Around dinner time I ate some food from the food left from the exchange students (every semester the university organizes a lunch consisting mainly of sandwiches, tea some fruits a sort of hamburgers etc., becaues a lot of food remains, until the cleaner comes and gather the remaining food, everybody is free just to grasp as many food as he wants).Around 4:40 I was back in Honigkamp I don't precisely remember what I did except that I know I researched stuff about the project and I was checking my mail regularly. I say HalleluYah! Because the whole day spiritually I was quite okay. Thanks Lord! Glory to the Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit! Now and in the ages of Ages! Amen! Tomorrow afternoon in 17:45, Plamen (Papi)is coming in Den Bosch and then he should take a bus to Arnhem. And he is gonna stay in my place! Thanks to God for him coming here. He is a christian and yes when you have another christian life is much easier. Of course it's up to God if he makes us to be in a good relations and have fun living together. Papi with whom I was pretty close for a long time has always supported me with few words or prayer in a hard times I went through before. Well he is protestant but if God permits and grants me I would try to direct him the orthodox faith just like Stelt (Stelio) a friend of mine directed me some time ago. The previous days were really hard for me .. as it could be seen from my previous post. Yesterday I had another great news Praise the Lord! Bless his Holy Name! I learned that I have passed with 70 in counseling (this was one of my modules here the previous semester). Glory be to God! Hallelujah!! Amen I'm still waiting for a grade for HRA but if God has said so I'll pass there. Because I know it's completely up to him, everything from the smalest detail in my life to the highest. Right now I'm experiencing God's love and grace. Thank you merciful Lord that after the storm, you provide me a peaceful days in your amazing grace!

Terrible day, Some time after I woke up, and washed my teeth and fixed my bed I tried to pray, although to be honest I was unwilling to. I was unwilling to pray the previous night as well, just like the previous 2 or 3 days. Just when praying I received an sms I wondered who he is.. it happened to be my boss urging me to check my mail urgently. I checked my mail it seems he has written me an email the previous night at 12:40 or something requesting to change the DNSes for the new site of design bg. Afterwards he called, there was a lot of stress during the whole day because I had to do numerous things. On top of that I had to present in International Labour Law and I was not well prepared I have serious problems with memorizing things so I cannot really prepare. I tried to pray a couple of times beseeching God in the name of Jesus Christ to grant me a pass. To be honest the whole project was a mess. The presentation just like the teachers said was horrible. The questions they asked us were quite unclear and mixed (most probably on purpose) ... after then they asked us to go out of the room and come back in a few minutes. I went in they said that unfortunately it's not pass. And we screw it up and we have to do it again the written project and also the presentation. They even mocked us a bit. Not to mention that through the presentation I felt so nervous .. and was quite below my capacity. Philip Da Ponte noticed that I have to develop my expression because I lack the vocabulary to express some of the things and I really did. But I have days I'm completely blackholed .. like today. Alan (my group mate) sent me an email in which he established a plan for how are we going to redo the project and has compiled a group of questions the teachers might ask us the next time. I have deep inner struggles ... I felt so bad. I went home and ate some food without even taking the time to thanks to God. I felt so betrayed because God didn't answer my prayer or better to say said "No". I had the realization that I don't have the power nor the desire to study in this university any more it's not news. This kind of things are tormetting me badly since the end of December. I explained quite clear to my parents that I won't make it. They don't believe me. Recently I explained them over a skype talk that I have the intention to become a priest, a monk or a hermit. I told them straight that I don't belong to this world and where I am now is not my real place. My mother has argued and tried to convince me that this is erroneous and I'm exactly where I should be. During the day I felt so bad I have that strong desire to kill myself just like before, I feel weak and lost. And my faith is a kind of broken or dysfunctioning at the moment. A little later I talk via skype with a couple of friends Nomen, Stelian, Nikokay. Stelian or (stelt) for short probably has prayed a it for me because after I shared him my concerns and my bad state I felt a little better it's worthy to mention that he is Orthodox Christian just like me and he is the one partly responsible for bringing me in the Orhotox Church. A little than an hour ago I had my dinner. A cup a soup thing, e.g. you just dissolve the packaged soup into hot water. After the soup I ate two pieces of bread (one with a sort of russian salad and one only with margarine). Now I'll probably take a shower because my hair is really greasy. I felt extremely weak during whole day, my physical condition is not good as well. I've commited my life in the hands of God (The Holy Trinity) what will happen is completely up to him. If he grants me peace and grace and power and restores my health and forgives my iniquity I'll be restored and healed. If not I'll continue to suffer badly and I have absolutely no clue where all this will end. I should mention that yesterday some demonic spirits has tormented me in a bad way. This dorm is infested with demonic spirits but praise be to the Father through Jesus our Saviour for not letting my life in the evil ones hands ...

A friend of mine has recently had struggles on his Fujitsu Amilo Li 2735 with making the wifi card working. After 3 hours of experiments I figured it out.
Here is a step by step small tutorial on how to make it work as well:

1. Installed and working iwl3945 module
2. firmware-iwlwifi debian package
3. Install acerhk-source
4. Execute module-assistant auto-install acerhk
5. put in /etc/rc.local modprobe acerhk autowlan=1; echo on > /proc/driver/acerhk/wirelessled
If you want to disable led echo off > /proc/driver/acerhk/wirelessled
You can use: iwlist scanning afterwards to scan for networks
6. ifconfig wlan0 up (brings up the wlan0 iface)

7. Enjoy !

In the meantime let me say few words for the week. Thanksfully it's over, I still haven't had my defense in International Labour Law. It's going to be on 20th of Jan. Zlati a friend I just recently made who lives in Vlissingen (a Dutch town) next to the sea, has been my guest for the day. The previous 3 days I was busy partly with helping Ina to move her stuff from the dorm since she is moving to an apartment. We had to to roll a shopping carret loaded with a table and a drawer and then to discarge it out of the shop. car. bring the luggage in the apartment on the 3rd floor I had a great time with Zlati. I prayed the Lord that he grant me an easy and fun day and somehow make that the servers and everything is running smoothly and to prevent me from having an extra work because I had to be away from the pc for a while and he heard me! Blessed be our merciful Lord and saviour Jesus Christ ! And the Father of All and the Holy Spirit! E.G. The Holy Trinity! Soon I'll pray a bit and probably go to bed. But 1st I'm going upstairs to check what's going on on the Bulgarian party that the Bulgarians are organizing tonight.

A bunch of Bulgarian musician are covering the famous Metallica's Nothing Else Matters song. Check out the song it's quite a lot of fun. See it here

Two days ago I strucked on an interesting video. It shows us a few contemporary persons who are hermits in Romania. What they teached and said is quite interesting to see since it's truth. One of the hermits said how many hours per day do you pray? Do yo u pray for 6 hours ? w0w, 6 hours that's a lot. We are so astray from God .. Just check the video out here We are lucky still to have people like this ..

Yesterday I had an HRA exam. I was completely unprepared from one side because of my laziness and another reason because I don't understand accounting at all. I went to the exam and felt terrible I was there standing like a complete idiot. This has happened to me a various times before in the other universities where I have studied as well. I have prayed to God to grant me to pass the accounting exam, on the exam I was able to copy a bit from Ina and I hope that would be enough and God would do the rest needed to make me pass if that's his will. Today I went for few hours to the university because of GRACE (A chineese girl colleague) asked me to help her a bit something with Microsoft Word! I hate this program but anyways I tried my best to help her with the best I could, a little bit later she helped to prepare ROI for my financial part of the Change Management individual part which I have to prepare until the deadline which is tomorrow Wednesday 5 o'clock. I'm in a big doubt almost everyday I doubt shall I go back to Bulgaria and what to do with my life but that's something that I live with for so many years. I'm scared to quit once more studying because this is the 3rd time for me where I would quit university and this is too much I want to have a diploma ... I hope on God for that as well. But as we use to say in Bulgaria we'll live and will see what will happen. Let the will of God be. By the way today it's the Russian Christmas, the russian orthodox Church celebrates the Birth of our savoiur Jesus. Most of the day I felt spiritually fine and didn't suffered badly from a depression thanks to the Lord God

The time for flying back to the Netherlands has come. Before we departured from the Netherlands with the help of Nomen we had reserved tickets to fly with one of the planes of W!zz air. Thanks to God the flight was flawless and we take off and landed alive to the Dortmund airport. The experience was nice it's especially cool when the plane accelerates before it takes off. and when it lowers in order to land and the landing itself, cool! I experienced to be more scary but it was quite OK. I prayed a bit before we take off and before we landed. We met Nikola another guy from the Bulgarians who lives in the same dorm where I do. Which was a nice thing because he has already traveled from Dortmund to Arnhem and he knew which bus we need to take to go to the central train station in Dortmund. In fact the Dortmund airport is near to another town and is 30 minutes away with a bus from the central train station. I asked few Germans which bus do we need to take and few of them told me I had to take another bus from the one that Nikola said and I almost did which was going to be a mistake because this bus doesn't go to Dortmund's central train station but to other near town train station. Happily when I was already in the bus one Bulgarian told us that this is not the right bus so I went down from the Bus. We had to wait an hour for the next bus which was going to Dortmund's central train station. We went to the train station. Asked for the nearest time when we can get a ticket to Arnhem, the closest we could take required us to change trains 4 times! Terrible but since no many options were available and considering the train price 38 EUR which is better than 50 EUR. We took the tickets and catched the train. The first train was really nice it had plugs in it. This is the first time I see a train with plugs pretty cool, eh! That traveling was exhausting for me because I haven't slept nicely for few days. I felt like a porter. Wearing this heavy bags for so long changing trains. The whole trip from Dobrich to Arnhem took us something like 24h! With bus it takes around 48h but at least you don't have to care about changing trains wearing heavy bags and so on and so on. By the way I liked Germany much more than The Netherlands. The only thing I disliked there is that people to answer to the questions you raise in English in their native German language. But yes that's probably normal since we're in their country. Only a couple of ppl answered in English. I determined that I could understand a lot of the writtings in Germany. Probably the 5 years I had "studied" that language aren't so pointless as I thought before. Now it's Sunday I'm staying in the Dormitory after I had a nice sleep last night and thinking what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Tomorrow I have a defense on one of my projects I'm not really prepared. Actually I'm at a point of my life that I don't care anymore what will happen. I realize that I cannot control things so everything is up to God. I should note that I owe a lot to Nomen and thank him for everything he did for me when I was in Bulgaria and for the fact that he brought me to Sofia's airport with his car (Honda), he call her (Hondio) We traveled to Sofia with Desislava and Nasko the trip was quite a fun one. Nomen has left me to drive for 100 or 150 km. He did so a couple of times when we still were in Dobrich for which I thank him as well. I also thank to God who has strenthened me again and gave me power to successfully travel from Dobrich to Sofia and from Sofia to Dortmund and from Dortmund to Arnhem! Thanks Lord for your kind mercy!

I experienced mostly a great time in Bulgaria. Refreshing days went to Kavarna with Nomen to confess my sins in front of a priest. I purposely has selected Kavarna's Church and father "Vasilii" because I liked him as a priest. I've been on a liturgy once during the summer in the church where he takes care for. After the Liturgy I drived Mitko's Audi A3 towards Dobrich. I'm a new driver so I need to practice. I drived during this days few more times. We went several times for a coffees and pubs with Nomen and Alex. We also went out with Nicki Mitko's brother a couple of times and we had a great time together coffee-ing. I also went to a dentist. It seems that I had caries and they had to fix my teeth. The caries was in the last stage that it could be so the dentist had to kill and remove my nerve and he did so, the nerve was killed (with arsenic fluid) and removed and the tooth was filled in. I also went out for a drink 3 times with Lily. I went to liturgy 2 times. I met a nice priest (Father Veliko). In Varna when I came back from the Netherlands I met Order and had a great time with him. A lot of other things that I can hardly remember. The Christmas this year. My whole family was there except my grandma who had to be in the hospital (however the Christmas was just perfect!) Thanks to God! I and my family gathered together and had a nice talk and dinner even we said the Lord's prayer before we started eating it was so nice ... The New Year eve was a nice one as well. Even my grandma was there. If we don't count few minor downfalls like a small quarrel with my sis all went well. I was home with my family until 1.30 in the morning and afterwards went to Denica's who is a close friend of Nomen, Pavlin was there as well he is an old friend from the metal days of my past. I drinked a couple of glasses of beer and wine. In the morning I had a little hang-over as as a consequence from the drinking. The 13 days I was in Bulgaria has passed so quickly. I shared with my grandma and mother that I feel bad physically, emotionally and mentally. During my stay I also have been aguest in my aunt a couple of times, so nice time there as well. The food in Bulgaria is so great I was very, very happy to eat the delicios food there. The food here in the Netherlands is completely terrible compared to the one at home! In short that was how my days passed there. And I'm so happy about them! I'm looking forward to go home as fast as possible I realize my place is not abroad. When I firstly came here I thoiught that maybe my place is somewhere in some of the developed countries like here in The Netherlands. Now I think differently. It's quite interesting that after I went out of Bulgaria I became much more a patriot. When I was living there I always has praised the developed countries way of living and thinking. Now it's a completely different story I sometimes even like the bad things in Bulgaria. I wonder if other people who went out of Bulgaria to work or study has experienced the same. Anyways thanks to the Lord I had a safe journey from Bulgaria to the Netherlands. And here I'm here in the dorm again. I'm gonna tell in short my experiences from the trip back from Bulgaria to the Netherlands in a different post in a minute.