I'm so depressed these days that I'm trying to write something decent here but everytime I try I do stop and delete all I have written and start from scratch again.
It's terrible, I believe everyone have this days and they're so dark that even the smallest ray of light is gone somewhere…
The causes for depression are multiple, I know we're entering into the season period and that could be a factor, but truly for a long time I haven't felt that bad and I really cannot find the true cause. It's like hunting the unexplained.
Being a citizen of a countries on the balkans brings a lot of questions which cannot get answered. Why we the Balkan and more specificly most of the Orthodox Christian countries are suffering so badly and economically in constant crisis and recession?
From a material perspective Bulgaria is one of the worst countries one can live in, we the people on the balkans are chronically depressed and it really seems like a downward spiral
We've been gone through so far, when I was a child we were teached in the spirit of communism and a believe in a hard material realities.
Communism has taught us we're all fleshly brothers and we should live in groups and stick to the group, now as the democracy come it's on the contraty, we're being constantly re-taught that we should leave behind the group kind of thinking and all built from communism destroy it all and build the new society… We're told by individualist nations like USA and Western europe that the only thing for the good of a person is to (get an absolute individualistic life and only exist for the greater goodness of each ones self as individuals..
As with everything the Balkans are notable for being a very unordered place. Living here is like living in chaos…
The social security policies here are not working, the jurisdiction is working on behalf of the rich, the police force is seriously disfunctional and easily bribable. Put next to all this shit a high levels of unemployment and a lot of unhappy depressed people crawling around the streets and you get the picture …
As a normal consequence most of the young people have entered a dark ways of alcoholism and hard-core nihillism.
There are high level of people who are oriented into the new dark realities of Metal or underground music.
Each philosophy that is being put in from the west is being adopted here and being multiplied million times and mostly the bad things are being adopted and less rarely the good ones…
It's so mixed up that nobody can explain why it is happening as it is here.
I really am trying hard to convince myself for a years now that it is worthy to live here but the more I live here in Bulgaria the more I see all is getting worser than getting for good.
I wonder for how long it will go this pointless way, we the balkan people are living in ruins literally.
The only light we still have is the Church, but very sadly most people has left behind the faith and prefer to follow the fake American dream than to obey to our old ways and traditions.
Globalisation has entered in the Balkans in a full-force and is destroying our ancient culture and traditions and building the fakeness of the coca-cola culture that most of the people prefer to adore nowdays …
Bulgaria's population is mostly based of old people and we're a dying nation, if a miracle doesn't happen then we definitely will be gone.